My inadvertent trail run

Have you ever had a race where you go in with certain expectations and ends with you just being happy you finished?  That was my run yesterday.  I wanted to do a 5k on my birthday so when I found one that was inexpensive and included a medal I signed up.  My last run before Saturday I had two miles that were under a 15 minute pace.  This may sound painfully slow to most, but for me, this is a huge improvement in my pace.  Driving to the race I actually thought "wouldn't it be cool to get a PR on my birthday?"  It was raining, but I've run in the rain before without any major issues.  I was also wearing my cute new Sparkle Skirt featuring Hogwarts Running Club and figured that would give me extra motivation. 

Before the race started.

As we approached the starting point, I realized at least part of the course was on grass.  The start/finish line was on a grassy hill.  It made me wonder how much of the rest of the course was going to be a trail run versus pavement (which is what I am used to running on).


Well, shortly into the run I realized that about 75% or more of the course was on grassy fields, bumpy trails and went up and down several hills.  Living in Pittsburgh I am no stranger to hills.  However, trail hills are a different ball game.  Especially in the rain.  The grass was slippery and the trail was muddy with things like rocks and roots.  There were several downhill portions that would have really had me cruising if they were paved roads, but instead I inched down because I was terrified of falling.  (especially with the ten mile race next weekend).  I actually did start to slip down one of them but grabbed on to a tree that helped me stay upright. 

A steep, muddy hill.

The uphill wasn't much better as there were some pretty steep hills (or at least hills that were steeper than I was expecting).  I actually worked to try and run up some of them if they were just grass.  I knew my pace was way off because of how careful I was taking it on many of the hills, so why not try to make up at least a little bit of time on some of the "easier" hills.  It didn't help that I was literally the last runner going through.  That meant 100+ others had trudged through the area making it even messier than it had been. 

This was the first race ever where I honestly wanted to quit.  I had so much going against me.  The weather sucked, I couldn't hear my interval timer, I had regular running shoes on and not more appropriate trail shoes (which I actually do have from when I was in a hiking club back in Buffalo) and there was only one other person even remotely close to try and use as a motivation to catch up to.  (This is often something that keeps me going - trying to catch up to others and pass them).  There were several times that I looked around trying to figure out where the finish line was and how I could get there easily.  Or at least get back to the parking lot.  Towards the end of the race I even ran right past my car and contemplating getting in (there was still at least a half mile left in the race at that point).  But I knew there was a finisher medal.  And besides that, I'm not a quitter.  I came to run a 5k and gosh darn it, I was going to finish a 5k. 

Official time 48:44.12

When I approached the area where the finish line was I got excited.  Then I realized we still had to make a loop up a hill, around a picnic shelter and then back down the hill.  All on grass.  I was frustrated, tired and cold but I stuck with it and made the loop.  Then I crossed the finish line.  I'm usually grinning ear to ear when I do.  Yesterday I'm sure I managed to crack a little smile, but that was because I was proud of my perseverance for actually sticking it out when I didn't feel like it.  It wasn't the feeling of joy and rush of endorphins that I usually get from a race finish.  Instead it was a feeling of accomplishment.  That might sound cheesy or unwarranted for a silly 5k, but in some ways I felt more accomplished yesterday after this 5k then I did after my half marathon.   I've mentioned before that running is very much a mental sport.  That cheesy "whether you think you can or you think you can't, you are right" phrase is so very true when it comes to running.  If you approach a run or a race with a certain goal in mind you are likely to achieve it.  But if you approach that same race or training run with the attitude that it is going to suck, it likely will.  I wasn't mentally prepared for the conditions.  I thought I was going to have a nice, fairly easy morning run.  And I let the conditions get to me mentally.  I started to overthink the ground and my footing which slowed me down.  It also made me doubt myself.  However, I wouldn't let the self doubt win.  I knew that I HAD to cross that finish line even if the results weren't pretty.  So I did.  Even though they had started to tear everything down and I was basically last to cross.  But I did it (and have the medal to prove it).

I suppose my point in this post is that even when you encounter obstacles (both in life and in running) it is important to keep moving forward so that you can reach your goals.  Yesterday's race wasn't a pretty finish, but it was a finish.  It gave me a sense of accomplishment and a fun new medal.  Had I cut out early or gotten into my car, I know I would have had a lot of regrets and wonders of what could have been.  Don't let self doubt and fear cripple you.  Keep moving forward and you will cross that finish line.  And you won't regret it.

My birthday

Today is my birthday.  Usually on my birthday I want to sleep in, be pretty lazy and maybe get a little bit spoiled.  This year my birthday was pretty different.  It started with my alarm going off at 6:30 am. Why?  Because I had signed up for a 5k in Wexford.  I figured the best way to celebrate turning another year older was to do something beneficial for my health that is also fun.  It was a smart decision that I'm glad I made.  A wonderful present to myself.

When the alarm went off this morning, I laid in bed reflecting on how my life has changed since last year.   Last year we spent the evening at the Children's Museum.  I remember needing to sit down a few times because I was tired or my feet hurt.  I was glad to be making memories with my kids and we had a lot of fun.  I can't say I wasn't happy (because I was).  Truth be told, it drives me nuts to see so many people totally tearing apart their former selves.  Your life wasn't any less worth living or any less awesome because you weighed a bit more.  But that doesn't mean there isn't room for growth regardless of your weight.

I've had a lot of growth as my body is shrinking.  The first is that I have a lot more energy and stamina.  For example, this morning I ran a 5k.  Then we ran around a few places with the kids.  And I capped the evening off with ushering (where I stand and walk a lot).  The me of last year wouldn't have had the energy to do all these things in one day.

The other major difference is my attitude and self confidence.  I'll talk about this in a separate post, but through a variety of experiences and people I've met I've been able to dramatically increase my self confidence which leads to me being able to have so many more amazing experiences both individually and with my family.

So, yes, I chose to run on my birthday, and it was a wonderful gift to myself.  One that I will continue to give myself as long as possible.  And hopefully I've started a new tradition of starting my birthday with a run.

Racing on vacation

I admit it, I'm addicted to races.  There is just something about having that race bib, official time and crossing a finish line that really gives me added motivation.  Which is why I looked up 5ks in Vegas in October over the summer.  I chose this one because it benefits Alzheimer's research and Alzheimer's impacted my family through my Grandma Jean.  

I signed up for this race in August so I'd be guaranteed to run at least once while on vacation.  I'm proud of the fact that this was the third time I have been out there pounding the pavement.

The race had something I wasn't really expecting:  hills!  The plus side is that they were during mile two which lead to the last mile or so being almost all downhill.  The down side is that there were hills.  Running is such a mental sport.  You can easily convince yourself that it is going to be a good race or a bad race and either way, you'd be right.  I thought the race would be similar to my other two runs.  Nice and flat.  So I wasn't mentally prepared for hills.  And when I saw them, it surprised me and I let it impact my focus and stride.  I walked through a few of my run intervals and ended up slowing waaaaaay down.  I'm pretty sure that if I was mentally prepared for the hills I would have tackled them like I do every time I run at home.  Instead I let it effect me and added almost two minutes to my mile two split.

The important thing, though, is that I kept going.  I picked it up, especially for that last mile and I actually ran the entire last half mile.  Easily the farthest I've run without stopping.  A good reminder that changing your mindset to a more positive one you can achieve great results.  

My official time was 49:22, so it is slower than I have been running, but my pace for mile one and three kept me from being over 50 minutes.  Even though the finish time was slower than I expected, it was a wonderful morning and a fun race to participate in.

A revelation

Many of you know I'm in Las Vegas this week for the Sweet Adelines International Competition.  For those that don't know, it is essentially the olympics of our organization.  It takes a tremendous amount of work and dedication to get here and only 34 choruses out of the 600 or so worldwide get the opportunity.  When I sang with BGC, we were in the "big show" and placed among the top ten in the world.  Such an incredible honor.  SPC is in a different place.  And we knew that coming in.  We're one of the smaller choruses in the contest, many of our members were unable to come and we have less international experience than most of the choruses. Still, we are very excited to be here and to have the incredible opportunity of performing on the international stage.

Yesterday was a very exciting day.  We had a wonderful rehearsal together in the morning and the excitement and energy were palatable as we were going through the pattern.  It felt great on the stage.  The performance wasn't perfect (but even the best chorus isn't) and when we left the stage we all felt that we left it all out there and did exactly what we were prepared to do.  Our friends, family and fans enjoyed our performance and not a single person seemed to be disappointed.

Then we got our results.  We haven't seen the judge's comments, but we know our scores from each category.  A category that is usually our strongest was one of our weakest.  There are a lot of reasons and we'll know more details when we read the comments.  But it is still heartbreaking to have so many hopes and a vision of where you'll place and then have that totally crushed.

I was one of the few people in that moment trying to put a positive spin on our scores and experience.      And I was able to make that comparison thanks to my running journey.

The picture above shows two moments of pure happiness and joy.  I was in the moment and so proud of what I was doing.  Then came disappointment.  In the race picture I was a little disappointed with my finish time and pace.  I had been training for months and I didn't reach my goals.  There were multiple times where the sag wagon was dangerously close.  But the important thing was that I crossed that finish line.  How many people have never started or even dreamed of doing a 10k?  I was doing something a lot of others never will try or have the opportunity to do, and I finished.  Along the course of that race, I learned lessons on how I can improve for my next one.  I'm using that experience to build and grow.

That is exactly how I am choosing to look at yesterday's contest.  Did we have the place and results we wanted?  Certainly not, but we were there and gave it our all.  We prepared and trained just like I do for my races.  And we were totally happy in that moment.  Actually, most of us were happy with our performance until the results were announced.  We can choose to dwell on a less than stellar score and placement or we can channel that energy into more fruitful pursuits.  We can think about how some choruses will likely never have the opportunity we have and work just as hard week after week as we do.  We were at the bottom of the pack, but being at the bottom of this pack still means we are one of the 30 best choruses in the world.

This contest, much like my first 10k were growth opportunities that I am going to take advantage of.  I choose to find the positives and use them to drive me forward towards personal growth.  And my running/fitness journey and friends and motivators are the ones who helped me make this switch in perspective, so for that I will forever be grateful.

The moment at least a few of you have been waiting for has arrived. I finally decided to start a blog.  I'll use this blog mostly to focus on my running/fitness journey, but also other musings and events in my life.

What tipped me over the edge to finally do it was a perfect connection between my experiences with running and my chorus experience here in Vegas.  (I'll save that for it's own post).

I look forward to sharing my journey with you in a more formal way.