A life changing trip to Chick Fil A

Have you ever had a seemingly random decision that ended up totally changing your life?  This is the story of that very thing happening six years ago today. 


Anyone that knows Jason Alcantara and Chris McKee knows that they are entertaining, funny and a little crazy.  Proof of this is that fact that six years ago today, I ended up on a Megabus from Buffalo to Pittsburgh so we could go to Chick Fil A together (even though that never ended up happening...)


It all started when Jason "checked in" to Chick Fil A in Erie on his way back to Pittsburgh a few weeks before.  The three of us bantered back and forth on the post and, before you knew it, I had a round trip Megabus ticket purchased for Veteran's Day because I had the day off from work.  Because it is totally logical to spend eight hours round trip on a bus to spend about three hours somewhere...  But that was the crazy nature of our friendship.


At the time, I was single and using Ave Maria Singles and Catholic Match to hopefully meet Mr. Right.  Anyone who has done online dating (or any type of dating past their 20s) knows there are a lot of duds out there. This is even more the case when you are looking for someone that is a faithful Catholic.  I had been talking with a few people but was most interested in this one guy who I had been talking countless hours with on the phone (when it seemed like only minutes had passed).  He happened to live in Pittsburgh.  However, the purpose of this visit was to spend time with Chris and Jason, not meet a potential love interest, so I didn't make plans to meet this person.  As I was on the bus, curiosity had started to get the better of me and I considered asking him to meet me somewhere.  But still I held off.   After all, he was scheduled to come visit me in Buffalo two weeks later, so there was no reason that we couldn't wait for an in person meeting until then. 


I remember marveling at the Pittsburgh skyline when we rounded a corner on the highway.  You didn't see it at all and then, bam, there was this really unique and pretty view.  When I arrived at the Convention Center and departed the Megabus, Chris McKee picked me up so we could meet Jason at the Dusquene Incline.  Chris claimed he knew Pittsburgh well and could easily get us there.  Except that wasn't the case.  And we kept ending up in front of Heinz Field.  After about the sixth time circumventing Heinz Field (for those not familiar with Pittsburgh, it is on the other side of the River from the Incline) we finally called Jason with a hilarious message to come and rescue us.     So we eventually enjoyed a trip up the Incline, learned about the mechanics of the incline and enjoyed an amazing city view. 


At this point, even though the entire purpose of the trip was to visit Chick Fil A, we decided to have dinner at Station Square instead.  Of course it took us at least a half hour standing around to come to even come to that decision, at which point we still needed to decide which specific restaurant we were going to.  When I realized Station Square was a little shopping area I started thinking, "hmmm, maybe I should call that guy and see if he wants to meet tonight."  I hate to say it, but even though we had an amazing connection on the phone, I still wondered and worried that he would be a total dud and I'd be stuck with someone I didn't want to spend time with for a whole weekend.    So I called the guy (my Chris) and asked where he was and if he was interested in meeting up that evening.  In my head, we could walk around and talk for about five to ten minutes, I'd send him on his way and I would get back to dinner with my friends.  My friends insisted that it was OK that I brought this person in, but I insisted I didn't need to.  Chris agreed to meet me there.  Little did I know that even though he said he was on the South Side (near where we were) he was actually almost home in Monroeville. 


I was a bit nervous about meeting Chris in person, but at the same time felt some sense of ease because we had gotten along so well.  When we finally met in person in the shops area of Station Square I was pleasantly surprised.  Upon first glance he was actually more attractive in person then he was in his profile picture.  When does that ever happen?!  Then we greeted each other with a hug.  I literally had this electric charge type feeling run through my body.  It was crazy (in a good way).  We started to walk a little and chat and within five minutes I decided to ask him to join my friends and I for dinner.  He got along very well with both of them and the conversation flowed freely.  There were also plenty of laughs along the way. 


It was a fairly warm evening, so we walked around outside Station Square for a bit taking in views of the skyline and the fountain show.  Chris put his arm around me and once again I had that electric feeling happen.  At one point, McKee (who was working at a Sheraton Hotel at the time) decided to check out the one that is at Station Square.  That left Chris and I alone for a few minutes.  When we were above the Gateway Clipper boat docks, he leaned in to give me a kiss.  I had never kissed on a first date, but somehow that time it was totally appropriate.  And, in my heart, I totally knew it was the last first kiss I'd ever have.  I later found out that he felt the exact same way.  I was cherishing every single minute of our time together and suddenly regretting the fact that I needed to get on the bus soon.  As luck would have it, McKee decided he wanted to go to Buffalo for the weekend, so I was able to stay longer.  At one point, we were discussing what we should be doing at 11:00 on 11/11.  The funny thing was that what we were doing at that magical moment was discussing what we should be doing.  It was so perfect for the crazy nature of that entire visit to Pittsburgh.


It was really hard to say goodbye to Chris that evening and it felt like it would be an agonizingly long two weeks before I would see him again.  But we parted with another kiss and a promise that we would see each other soon. 


During the four hour drive home, McKee and I had an honest conversation about our feelings for the first time ever.  We had been pretty inseparable and often joked that we shared a brain.  Honestly, we acted more like a couple then a lot of couples do, but neither of us were willing to have that awkward conversation.  But that night we finally did.  He wasn't sure what he wanted out of life, where he wanted to go career wise and was definitely still thinking about the seminary.  He had never had a girlfriend and wasn't sure if and when he'd be ready for that step in his life.  I was so grateful that the two of us finally had that important and candid conversation, because it left me even more willing to free up my heart and give it totally to Chris.  Even with the serious conversation topic, we still shared lots of laughs (including silly things like laughing over town names like Zelinople).  We even made it to Chick Fil A!  Sort of...  In Erie we pulled into the parking lot and drove through the drive through lane to be able to say we actually did go to Chick Fil A that trip.  We also stopped at the adoration chapel at Fr. Larry Richard's church where I was able to praise God for such a wonderful evening and for an answer to my prayers for clarity.  (I had just finished a Novena to St. Jude where my request was for clarity in my marriage vocation).  I think we got back to Buffalo around three in the morning.  The craziest thing about that is that my choir was being filmed that morning at 8 a.m. for a national television appearance. 


At some point during my drive home, Chris called me and left the sweetest voice mail ever about how grateful he was to have met me that evening and how hard it would be to wait two more weeks to see me.  And I was so excited about our meeting that I kept looking back to the picture posted above because it all seemed so surreal.  That picture was proof the perfect evening had actually happened.


People always say "when you know, you know." but I thought it was just a bunch of hogwash.  But after meeting Chris that night, I totally understood why they say it.  There were several relationships before that one, but none of them gave me the feeling that I experienced that first time meeting Chris in person.   I think my friends were sick of me talking about the amazing adventure that I had that night, but I just couldn't help it, I was excited and wanted everyone to know.  (I seriously felt like that scene in Elf where Buddy says "I'm in Love!  I'm in love and I don't care who knows it!")  We were engaged about six months after we met and married a year and a half after meeting.  Some people think it was really fast, but when you meet someone in your 30s, you can tell pretty quickly if it is the kind of relationship you want to build towards marriage or not. 


Today is six years since that crazy night and I still remember the details as if it was yesterday.  The crazy thing is that I sometimes can't remember what I had for lunch today, but I can vividly recall the outfits we were both wearing, the things we talked about, where we were when he put his arm around me, where we were when we kissed.  And so many more tiny details.  Especially the way that his touch gave me that electric feeling.  Because even today, six years later, it still does.  With the grind of every day life (especially with two two year olds) we often don't have time for date nights or to do the loving things that we did for each other during our dating and engagement period, but when Chris rubs my head or I lay in "my perfect spot" I still feel like the giddy teenage girl that I felt like that first night we met.


I'm sure that if I had met Chris two weeks later in Buffalo we still would have had a magical weekend together, but I'll forever be grateful that Jason and McKee made me come to Pittsburgh two weeks earlier because it certainly makes for a much more entertaining story.


I love you, Chris, and I'm looking forward to countless more years with you filled with crazy adventures like the night we first met. 

A matter of perspective

It isn't often that races have free photos.  Sometimes, even when they do I'm so slow that the photographer has moved on to the awards ceremony by the time I cross the finish line.  I thought for sure that was the case with the race on my birthday, especially since it had been a while since I saw the person who was in front of me most of the race.  Apparently that wasn't the case because today I received an email with a link to download the race photos. 


My initial reaction:  disappointment and disgust.  I look fat and bumpy.  I'm not smiling and I'm a sopping wet mess.  The initial thought was "delete and never show anyone" (and honestly a little embarrassed everyone who ran the race would be able to see them).


Within seconds, though, I thought deeper and changed my perspective.  Sure, the pictures weren't pretty (certainly not going to be my facebook profile picture any time soon) but they showed so much more than rolls of fat or fatigue.  They showed sheer determination.  I already posted about how I was ready to give up on this race.  So the mere fact that I finished was a great accomplishment.  I struggled, but I finished.  Near the end I had that goal of crossing the finish line in mind and I made it happen.  I might not be smiling, but I was happy.   And I was out there doing it.  How many people out there would not have even tried to run a 5k that day.  Quite honestly, the me of last year may have actually left and not even tried to run the race once I realized it was on grass and trails.  And definitely wouldn't have posted these pictures publicly.  I think they are important to share, though.  Too much of the fitness industry only focuses on physical appearance and weight.  Social media seems to only share the most glamorous of moments.  I have to admit I am guilty of that too.  Which is why I'm sharing these pictures.    People don't think someone who isn't small can be a runner or be fit.  I have a long way to go with both my weight and my fitness level, but there are tiny people who can't run five feet, let alone a 5k.  So it is important to share with the world that someone who doesn't fit a particular mold can still be happy with who they are and willing to share it.  We can be sopping wet with clothes clinging to our clothes but we can still be proud of the accomplishment and show off that picture. 
I'm proud of the fact that I've been able to change my perspective to a more positive one when it comes to my appearance, how I look in pictures and, myself in general.  I'm a work in progress and that is OK.   Because that is definitely the perspective that I want to pass on to Genevieve and Jude.  

Change your life

These days my Facebook feed is dominated by two things.   Posts about or related to kids/motherhood and posts about/related to running.  This includes tons of ads for shirts and products I will likely never buy but often I find entertaining.

Today I saw a shirt with this phrase:

If you want to change your body, exercise.  If you want to change your life become a runner.  Truer words have never been spoken (or I suppose in this case, written).


I started working out in January and started running in March. When I started working out in January my life did change.  I had more energy and my clothes started to fit better.  But those changes are fairly minor in the scheme of things.  My life truly changed in March when I decided to join Fleet Feet's "Dare to Be Fit" program.   This program consisted of two days a week of coached runs and one day a week where we talked about weight, nutrition and other components of the weight loss/fitness journey.  I had participated in a training program with Fleet Feet in Buffalo over 10 years ago so I knew it would be awesome.  I just didn't know it would be life changing.

In March, I had a ton of inhibitions about so many things.  I was too slow to be considered a runner.  I wouldn't fit in at group runs or races.  People would make fun of me for even trying.  What if no one talks to me.  What if I'm too slow and hold the mentors back.  All of these worries stemmed from the fact that I had virtually no self confidence.  It was kind of crazy to me because I had always been someone who was almost too self confident.  But between moving to a new city, marriage and having twins there were so many life changes that gradually chipped away that confidence to almost nothing.  Walking into the program kick off was scary.  Everyone seemed so much more fit then me.  The next step was our first group run.  I had never been to South Park and didn't know a single person, but since I had paid for the program and didn't want to waste the money I knew I had to show up. 


That first week, I ran with one girl (who ended up not coming back) and Susan.  I probably said to Susan about 100 times "are you sure I'm not going too slow for you?"  What propelled this self doubt was when one of the other groups of beginner runners literally lapped past us on the track.  We were running for one minute and I was terribly winded.  What had I gotten myself into and did I actually belong there?  Susan kept reassuring me that, yes, I belonged there and no, I wasn't too slow.  So I came back.  Week after week I came back.  I went from being winded running 30 seconds at a time to running five whole minutes by the completion of the program.  That might not sound like much to some, but for me it was a huge accomplishment.  Not only because I was able to do it, but because I had the courage to try.

Somewhere over the course of that Dare to Be Fit program something inside me changed.  That tiny little flicker of self confidence erupted into a flame.   I was still a slow runner who was using intervals, but somehow that didn't matter anymore.  I took pride in every run that I completed (even if it didn't go according to plan).  The self doubt started to melt away.  Suddenly I was a more confident runner.  But it didn't stop there.  I was a more confident mother.  A more confident wife.  I had a sense of inner strength that I didn't have before.  I was willing to take more risks and try new things.  And that confidence came through running.  It came through the actual training runs, but also came from the amazing group of friends I have made through this running journey.  People that were encouraging every step of the way.  People that believed in me even before I believed in myself.  People that helped me change my life for the better.

Honestly, every single person involved with Fleet Feet has been amazing, but there are some who have really left their mark.  The first is Kisa, our fearless leader.   We joked that you drink the "Kisa koolaid" because it seems everyone involved in one of her programs becomes addicted to running.  She has been so real about her own journey and never let me be down on myself and is always there with an encouraging word.   The next shout outs have to go to Susan and Michele.  They were my most regular mentors through the first program and are a primary reason I kept coming back every week.  They let me take a break if I needed, but also pushed me when I needed it too.  Jackie has also been a huge help.  Her pointers on form and also encouragement to push harder have definitely helped me become a better runner.  She has also recently helped me navigate making purchases for winter runs.   Carla and Sharon have been amazing supporters, too.  When I was one of the last finishers at the Great Race, Carla was at the finish cheering me on and guiding me to water and making sure I got my medal.  Then cheered me in a few weeks later at a 5k.   There were a few times where Sharon pushed me to keep running, during training runs, and she helped inspire me to run more when I was struggling at the Great Race.  Of course I can't have a post thanking the awesome life changing folks without a shout out to my fellow "struggle bus ducklings" Ashley, Cindy, Kaylyn and Leah.  We may be back of the packers, but we stick together and support each other.  And have tons of laughs along the way.  Ashley is our fearless leader/mentor and is amazingly supportive and encouraging, but what I appreciate most is that she is so real about her journey. 


In most other sports, if you aren't good you are left behind, made fun of or basically told to leave.  In running, as long as you use your legs and keep putting one in front of the other, the community will support you. That kind of unconditional support is rare, and I'm glad I found it with my Fleet Feet family.  It is this support that helped me regain my self esteem and confidence and has dared me to try new and exciting things.


So, yes, if you want to change your life, start running.  You won't regret it.