A matter of perspective

It isn't often that races have free photos.  Sometimes, even when they do I'm so slow that the photographer has moved on to the awards ceremony by the time I cross the finish line.  I thought for sure that was the case with the race on my birthday, especially since it had been a while since I saw the person who was in front of me most of the race.  Apparently that wasn't the case because today I received an email with a link to download the race photos. 


My initial reaction:  disappointment and disgust.  I look fat and bumpy.  I'm not smiling and I'm a sopping wet mess.  The initial thought was "delete and never show anyone" (and honestly a little embarrassed everyone who ran the race would be able to see them).


Within seconds, though, I thought deeper and changed my perspective.  Sure, the pictures weren't pretty (certainly not going to be my facebook profile picture any time soon) but they showed so much more than rolls of fat or fatigue.  They showed sheer determination.  I already posted about how I was ready to give up on this race.  So the mere fact that I finished was a great accomplishment.  I struggled, but I finished.  Near the end I had that goal of crossing the finish line in mind and I made it happen.  I might not be smiling, but I was happy.   And I was out there doing it.  How many people out there would not have even tried to run a 5k that day.  Quite honestly, the me of last year may have actually left and not even tried to run the race once I realized it was on grass and trails.  And definitely wouldn't have posted these pictures publicly.  I think they are important to share, though.  Too much of the fitness industry only focuses on physical appearance and weight.  Social media seems to only share the most glamorous of moments.  I have to admit I am guilty of that too.  Which is why I'm sharing these pictures.    People don't think someone who isn't small can be a runner or be fit.  I have a long way to go with both my weight and my fitness level, but there are tiny people who can't run five feet, let alone a 5k.  So it is important to share with the world that someone who doesn't fit a particular mold can still be happy with who they are and willing to share it.  We can be sopping wet with clothes clinging to our clothes but we can still be proud of the accomplishment and show off that picture. 
I'm proud of the fact that I've been able to change my perspective to a more positive one when it comes to my appearance, how I look in pictures and, myself in general.  I'm a work in progress and that is OK.   Because that is definitely the perspective that I want to pass on to Genevieve and Jude.